How to train your dragon? Err.. no... I mean dog!(PART 1)

I was thinking of writing a blog for a while, now that I had a lot of time in hand I decided to start, who better to start with other than our very own Bow Bow . NO, not the rapper, but our family pet. So I woke up today, and I see her fighting with me over my pillow and it made me wonder who the master really was, I have heard about alpha male, in this case alpha female, and there is no room for speculation who was ruling our home, alpha female – 1 and master (me) – 0, obviously I was losing and the dog is taking control of the household!!!So it got me wondering if dogs should be sent to these grueling boot camp style training courses where they are taught to fetch the phone and all(I can only dream about the day that miracle will happen.), but is that all worth it? Before you go ahead and say Aww, no, so sad, they can’t survive there for more than one day. I ask you to reconsider the decision, this is a “tell – all “blog of a person who just fell for emotional blackmailing of dogs. …. Following are my experiences with Bow Bow and yes, she was NOT TRAINED!

• If your dog does not respond to the command STAY - Never have a steaming hot cup of coffee or steaming cup of anything, anywhere in the proximity of the dog pouncing on you … trust me on this one, I have good amount of coffee stained clothes.

• So we have all heard about how people baby proof their homes, well, you need to dog- proof your home too. It could be a very successful business venture knowing the amount of damage that’s bound to happen, I have said goodbye to many beautiful pairs of shoes, furniture, clothes , oh and the annoying plastic bottles and the awful sound those bottles make *ugh*, stuff toys , pillows and of course the ever popular "shredding –everything- I-find-into- little –pieces" game. If you love something very much, my advice is HIDE IT , cause if the dog finds it, its safe to say you are not going to get it back!(they consider it a …. FETCH TOY, it just kills to even say the word )

• Doctors say dogs need a lot of exercise; do they have any idea about how hard it is to actually walk them when they decide to be the rebel, little miss misbehavior and wants to be the big bully, fighting dogs twice her size? Well, all I have to tell them is DO NOT FALL for those innocent eyes!!!(behind those little puppy dog eyes, is a brain which will give any evil genius a run for their money)

• Staying on the topic of exercise, it’s really a dog’s world out there, and I mean it literally, I like mongrels and all, but it’s not a joke to walk your dog, unless your dog gets along with the dogs in the “territory”. You just ending up being a bodyguard , chasing other dogs away when your dog pees or just aimlessly smells all the lampposts for hours ….(if u have ego issues, this job is not for you!)

• Staying on the lines of peeing and other unpleasant stuff, if your dog is not potty trained, welcome to the world of mops, detergents and air fresheners. Our grocery shopping list is as follows: - 1. MOPS (7-8 mop heads) , 2. any strong scented phenol (2-3 bottles on an average), 3. CLEANING RUGS ( 5- 6 , IF WE ARE RUNNING LOW ON MOP HEADS) and the bad news(as if there was any good coming out of cleaning dog poop) is it’s not for the whole month , but for fortnightly use…!There was this time i even bought a poop scooper from a dog store, you gotta appreciate innovation, i wonder what else they would come up to make our lives easier..!(i was the happiest woman in all of chennai, when i bought it!)
  

• Do not be impressed by dogs watching them in movies (Its about time to know the truth , all dogs are not intelligent, they have their moments , but they pass!!) or when you see people walk their dogs, where the dog walks heel to heel with the master… (Yes, they are trained!)… Whereas for the ones not trained, when you walk them, wear your running shoes, all I can say is, it never was walking, and it never will be, it always was running! END OF PART I... (to be continued...)